driving home

I had not noticed how far away I had gone until Thursday morning I had a dream about driving in a car with Brad Jersak. I don’t recall saying anything to each other. It was just good to be riding together.

That same morning, I got in my car for the half hour commute to work and the radio was off. The dream reminded me to leave it off.

It was pure exercise that morning: keeping silence as a basic spiritual discipline – the discipline of not reaching for the button, not tuning it to a talk show (as much as I enjoy CBC Radio One), not turning to Shine FM (as spiritual as it might seem to listen to worship music on my drive). No, this morning the dream had told me to drive in silence, so I obeyed. I did the same thing that afternoon and again the next morning and afternoon.

By Friday afternoon, I could hear. My life has been so frenetic: moving twice in one month, training on two new jobs (albeit in the same place), meeting dozens of new people, playing Ultimate Frisbee for the first time in 12 years, wondering about my future, my finances, my place in this city and in the world. All this and more left an exhausting buzz in my ears and my soul.

It was refreshing to see an old friend in my dreams and recognize the call to be still and silent, starting my quiet car, barely warmed by the early sun, still cluttered with shoes, papers, bags, bills, trash – the detritus of storage and moving and banana snacking on the run, accumulated debris of a rushing, uncentered life.

So Thursday morning was a relief. And by Friday afternoon I could hear God’s whisper: “Rest in me. Rest in my love. Welcome home.”

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This piece of writing arose out of a writing workshop by my cousin, Heather Persson, at Arlington Beach Family Camp this week. She asked us to do this writing exercise:

Last time you felt the presence of God, using all your senses, describe where you are and what you absorbed, how did you react to the surroundings, and how did you experience God in that moment; what did you learn or what was he saying to you.