Gold in my kitchen, jewels in my laundry

Yesterday a friend’s Facebook status shared that another friend’s husband had died suddenly, leaving her with 2 young children, widowed at 35. Sobering. “You don’t know what it’s got till it’s gone” (Joni Mitchell, Big Yellow Taxi). Comments under my friend’s status reflected on the need to appreciate what is and not take anything for granted.

How many times have I wondered, What I was thinking in getting married?  There were struggles in singleness, but marriage has often blindsided me with weakeness. My single self certainly had plenty of insecurities, but marriage has abounded with days of feeling consciously incompetent! Well, Luther has been reading my mail. Marriage is not the easiest path. Ah, but it is a God-ordained path, which makes it a good path and the one I travel right now.

Luther: The Estate of Marriage (1522) LW 45: 38-40

“The world says of marriage, "Brief is the joy, lasting the bitterness." Let them say what they please; what God wills and creates is bound to be a laughingstock to them. . . .

Now the ones who recognize the estate of marriage are those who firmly believe that God himself instituted it, brought husband and wife together, and ordained that they should beget children and care for them. For this they have God's word, Genesis 1[:28], and they can be certain that God does not lie. They can therefore also be certain that the estate of marriage and everything that goes with it in the way of conduct, works, and suffering is pleasing to God. Now tell me, how can the heart have greater good, joy, and delight than in God, when one is certain that his estate, conduct, and work is pleasing to God? . . .

Now observe that when that clever harlot, our natural reason . . . takes a look at married life, she turns up her nose and say, "Alas, must I rock the baby, wash its diapers, make its bed, smell its stench, stay up nights with it, take care of it when it cries, heal its rashes and sores, and on top of that care for my wife, provide for her, labor at my trade, take care of this and take care of that, do this and do that, endure this and endure that, and whatever else of bitterness and drudgery married life involves? What, should I make such a prisoner of myself? O you poor wretched fellow, have you taken a wife? Fie, fie upon such wretchedness and bitterness! It is better to remain free and lead a peaceful, carefree life; I will become a priest or a nun and compel my children to do likewise."

What then does Christian faith say to this? It opens its eyes, looks upon all these insignificant, distasteful, and despised duties in the Spirit, and is aware that they are all adorned with divine approval as with the costliest gold and jewels. It says, "God, because I am certain that thou hast created me as a man and hast from my body begotten this child, I also know for a certainty that it meets with thy perfect pleasure. I confess to thee that I am not worthy rock the little babe or wash its diapers, or to be entrusted with the care of the child and its mother. How is it that I, without any merit, have come to this distinction of being certain that I am serving thy creature and thy most precious will? O how gladly wd I do so, . . . for I am certain that it is thus pleasing in thy sight."

A wife too should regard her duties in the same light, as she suckles the child, rocks and bathes it, and cares for it in other ways; . . . These are truly golden and noble works.”

Isn’t it interesting that Luther refers to “our natural reason” as “that clever harlot” and continues to write in apparently feminine terms, then it becomes clear that the following two paragraphs that he is addressing the husband? Fascinating that Luther should portray the man as complaining about stereotypically wifely duties.

Whether husband or wife attending to such concerns, the burdens are the same, the complaints are the same – and the dignity is the same: “adorned with of divine approval as with the costliest gold and jewels.”

Gold in my kitchen? Oh yes.

Jewels in my laundry? Indeed.

All photos (except me & a friend’s baby in our rocking chair) are under attribution copyright from flickr’s creative commons.

what I need to be creative

I need a variety of things. These days I wish for  …

• time
• some solitude
• setting aside tasks
• a good pen & a journal with smooth, thick paper
• OR a blog “canvas”
• a brain and body that can stay awake!

Sometimes it’s helpful to move physically, like walking the dog -- in silence, no podcasts!

This morning’s walk was not conducive to creativity according to the list above. We found someone else’s little runaway dog, so I brought it home, called the city number on its tag, called a vet clinic to drop it off – all while our German Shepherd noisily chased the little visitor around the house(!). After calling all over, I hooked both dogs to leashes in hopes that the owner was out looking. We had barely stepped outside when a white car honked at me from the end of the block. Found. Whew.

There! A story lived and told. Somewhat mundane, but life is very ordinary, isn’t it? With plenty of inspiration around me, I just need a bit of time and space to process it.

Take your own advice

Do you take you’re own advice? The old cliche “easier said than done” is timeless because it’s so true. I am able to give advice about writing because I’ve done it and read about it and taught it – but it’s easier to give advice based on past experience than to maintain a writing discipline of my own.

This summer my step-daughter decided she’d like to live with her mom full-time. We’ve been privileged to have her with us full-time for nearly two years as she finish junior high in the same school. It makes sense that she missed her mom and wants to be with her.

This radically changes things for my husband and I. Additionally, he is taking a year off from the elder board at our church. It’s starting to sink in that we will have a very different and somewhat lighter schedule this year. Yesterday he asked what we should do with our time.

I’ve been on hiatus from blogging since August 2011. Two years. Lately I’ve been wanting to get back to it, and I have a growing clarity about the subject matter. This summer I’ve done manuscript critiques for two women who are wondering about writing their stories. We’ve had written conversations around these critiques and, in the process, I often wished I had a series of blog posts for them – not just with my own ideas, but pointing the ideas and posts of other people.

This evening I took about 40 minutes to copy and paste one of these conversations from Facebook into a Word document. I plan to break it down into a series of blog posts. It’s eleven pages long (font: High Tower Text, font size: 11, single-spaced with a break between each paragraph). That’s a lot of material! That’s a lot of advice.

So do I take my own advice? Yes and no. Not always in the structured way that I advocate. But that’s one answer to my husband’s question: both of us would like to work on writing projects. Developing this blog will be one of mine. Regularly writing in my journal will be another.

For the record, even though this blog has been silent for two years, I have still been writing. Here are links to a series that I recently wrote for Ambrose University College Bookstore’s Facebook page:

Why we carry fair trade gift products.

1. Because they are meaningful.
2. Because they dignify.
3. Because they make a positive difference.
4. Because they are beautiful.

What advice do you tend to give a lot? In what ways are you taking your own advice?

 

* Pictured above: our cat Finnick. He’s one of my writing helpers – though it’s not very helpful when he sits on my work!