Martha Mondays: Up or Down?

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Draw date and winner announced next Monday.

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A source of family discord that I suspect has been around ever since the invention of indoor plumbing has come to the fore again, this time in the form of email jokes. I refer to that bone of contention, the toilet seat. Should it be up or down? Some men see no reason why it should not be left permanently up, while most women feel this is the ultimate in grossness. Both sexes seem to regard the issue as an attempt to dominate. He: “What difference does it make whether it’s up or down?” She: “If you loved me you’d put it down.” While the connection between a toilet seat and marital devotion may not be clear to a man, to a woman it is entirely logical to rate any and all behaviour in terms of how much she is loved or not loved.

Of course toilet seats should be down. I do not express this opinion out of loyalty to other women or to put down men, but rather because it is the only position that makes sense. We have come a long way since the only attempt at decor in the biffy was the crescent moon on the door. Nowadays we go to considerable expense to have everything coordinated in the modern bathroom. The soap dish, toothbrush holder, and drinking receptacle must match. The toilet paper that replaces the Eaton’s catalogue of yore must unroll from a holder that blends with the register in the floor, and the clothes hamper must not clash with the medicine cabinet. Above all, great care is given to choosing colour-coordinated shower curtains, towels, face cloths, bathmat, tank cover, and toilet lid cover.

Why go to all this trouble and then hide the elegant lid cover? It is impossible to appreciate the beauty of a colour-coordinated lid cover when the lid is up, and since the lid by its very nature is on top of the seat, there is no way it can be down if the seat is up. The whole matter thus becomes academic. This logical reasoning is an attempt on my part to end the controversy once and for all. Whether it is successful remains to be seen.

~ Notes from Over the Hill, pages 18-19

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Do you agree with Martha's conclusions?

Post a comment to win a copy of Notes from Over the Hill.

Draw date and winner announced next Monday.

______________________________________________

Martha Mondays are a weekly feature at the Siretona blog. Siretona Creative is a publishing and production company that empowers women in the arts to build community among generations and nations. Martha’s book was one of our first major projects: a collection of Martha’s articles that “offer a dose of humour and insights to ease doubts as the golden years approach” (Dr. Lynda Haverstock). Sounds pretty intergenerational to us. So we crafted it carefully, including a specially commissioned and researched typeface that would both beautiful and easy to read.

For more information about Martha’s book, visit www.marthamorgan.ca.

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